Meet The Midwife *New Belly Shot Pic*

This morning we had our first midwife appointment!!! This was an important day!!! I was so anxious and nervous to meet N, and just really didn’t know what to expect, meeting her in person. Our nurse practitioner absolutely raved about her and said that we would just love her. Everyone I have heard that has used her couldn’t stop gushing about how knowledgeable she was; this is truly her passion. We arrived at little after 8:00am at her house. It was in a beautiful neighbourhood, surrounded by greenery. We parked on the street and walked up the stone path to her house. I noticed her SUV parked in the driveway. The license plate said MIDWIFE. Cute. We had to duck as we walked up the path – beautiful greenery arched over our heads, and to each side of us, leading the way up to her home. I took my time getting to the door and just admired her chimes and overall “style”. She definitely had a unique one – earthy – yet very calm and inviting. She had plants everywhere with colourful glass watering bulbs in them. For some reason, I felt a sense of peace about her already, and the nervousness was gone.

She came to the door, smiled and introduced herself then told us to follow her. We entered a guest room (or her bedroom) with an attached bathroom. I peed in a cup, weighed and sat down on the bed. Black and white and colour photos covered her walls. Naked women clutching their newborns. Partners holding the baby. Such love. There were women in the water giving birth, up close shots of itty bitty babies just brought into the world, new mommas holding their babies to their breast for the first time. It was incredible. From there, it seemed like the time just flew…..15 mins, 20 mins, 45 mins. K and I were blown away by how much she KNEW. She talked about nutrition – she is very into organic foods and gung-ho about no junk food. She asked me a few questions, one of which was the size of my feet. She recorded it – womens’s 9 ½. About to ask another question soon after, I stopped her. “Why, may I ask, do you ask what size feet women have” Well. I had NO IDEA. She told me that women can generally birth a baby that is one size bigger than the size of their feet – meaning – I could have a baby that is 10 ½ lbs. Yikes! She asked a lot about my family history and the donor’s. It’s more likely that I will have a baby that was close in size to our donor, or the size of the babies in his background. He was 10lbs6oz. Yikes again. Scary, but this midwife really has a way about her. I talked about my desire to have a water birth, and my fear of the pain. She reassured me that the ultimately, I will have the birth I was meant to have – chances are it WILL be in water. But she cautioned me against having a birth plan that is set-in-stone. I may have to use gravity and squat; I may have to give birth holding onto a rope, or in bed, or just NOT in the water. She really believes in listening to your body and what it is telling you. She said that the baby and I will work TOGETHER to birth and will choose the method that is best at the time. I was comforted nonetheless. She let me know that labour for first time mothers generally can be 1-3 days and said, “don’t worry, we’ll have fun!!!” She also has 9 birthing tanks that we can choose from, so we don’t have to go and buy one. She said they go from very small all the way up to 500 gallons! Wow! We may have a birthing assistant, a sort of doula persay, there to help N deliver Wee One in December. She feels that this is a good idea for first time home births, as both she and I will need the help. I feel so relieved now that K and I have met her. I know my girl was just as happy with the visit as I was – and like me – was impressed with her manner and experience. She has a great track record, and everyone has nothing but amazing things to say about her. You know that’s saying something after 20 years of birthing babies! One of her patients just recently said:

“She has the strong, loving hands of a woman who’s life has been dedicated to midwifery, and she has such a unbelievable way of breaking down and simplifying what should be the most beautiful event of your life, and it was. Her wealth of knowledge and trusting, disarming personality brought about a certain confidence in my wife that she could have the birth experience that she deserved. She was tough during labor when needed and always supportive, and loving, illuminating a path to a perfect personal birth and a kind of rebirth in ourselves..” (Altered real name to ‘my wife’)”

She recently won an award …. hear’s what they say…..

“For over 20 continuous years N, as she is known to all her client mothers, has offered an incredible service to the families of the Richmond area. She has built a sole home birth midwifery practice with an incredible record of exemplary outcomes and a legacy of empowering women in birth. Her gentle hands and light touch have served so many women throughout their childbearing cycle; from the early, nervous initial appointments to the postpartum checkup, N takes as much time as each woman needs to support her through that stage. Her thorough care and genuine love and understanding of mothers and babies has guided hundreds of families through their childbirth experience.

That pretty much says it all!

We also got to HEAR the Wee One’s heartbeat for the first time. It took a little while, as N said that the placenta must be right on top. After a little while, there it was. The steady….bum bum bum of the heart. Wow. K was the one this time that got choked up, but I was mighty close. How amazing is this whole journey, that now we have this little one growing in my belly. I wish this for EVERY woman, gay or straight. For those of you TTC, I can’t wait to read about your firsts! First time you see that BFP, first doctor’s appointment, first time you hear the heartbeat and see your baby, the first time you feel the baby move (I’m still waiting for that one!). This experience has changed me, and I know it’s changed K. Many more changes to go through in the next months and years. I can’t believe that on Tuesday, we’ll be in the 2nd trimester. This sometimes feels like a dream. I’ll end now, as this will probably seem like a novel to you all! If you are still reading all the way down here at the end, I’m impressed. I appreciate you all so much. xo

* K says she can’t tell a difference.  What!!!? I definitely can…….*


Itty Bitty Post In Bullets

I’m still alive! I’m pet-sitting and don’t have an internet connection right now, so I apologize for the lack of commenting on your blogs! I will catch up with you all as soon as I’m back home. (Hoping I don’t miss Sparky’s big entrance over at WE ARE FAMBLY!). I just have a few minutes, so I will update in bullets:

  • K and I had a lovely brunch with the girls from NOTES FROM 2 MOMS last weekend. They are so warm, sweet and instantly likeable! Not to mention, S’s belly is just too cute. Hope to continue to hang out with them in the near future; it was so great to get to know them both! S told me about a prenatal yoga class downtown that I am oh-so-interested in; it would be awesome to be in it with another cool lesbian!
  • I can’t believe it, but we were just so busy that we forgot to take the 10 week belly shot!! My apologies (again!) but you’ll really see the change from week 9 to week 11! I’ll post the new shot on Saturday or Sunday.
  • We are 11w2d today and my belly is CHANGING. I am really noticing how much fuller I’m getting….it’s sort of an uncomfortable in-between stage (struggling with body image issues as I don’t really ‘feel’ pregnant, just CHUNKY!!). I just want to have the “C” belly, not the “B” belly . . . .
  • We will be 12 weeks on Tuesday! Holy crap!! The first trimester is almost behind us and the time has flown!
  • I am feeling much better . . . my throat feels 100% better and I haven’t thrown up in 2 days!
  • Our midwife appointment is one week from today!
  • K and I have been talking about our honeymoon/very-first-big-vacation together. If O.livia (lesbian cruises) doesn’t have a problem with pregnant ladies being on their ships, we think we’re going to go on the Mexican Riviera cruise October 4-11. L.eisha H.ailey from The L Word will be on there, along with one of my favourite female musicians – Missy Higgins. I am SO excited about this….but trying not to get my hopes up, in case they have restrictions for pregnant women. I have wanted to take K on an Olivia cruise for SO long, and we have just never been able to because of her work schedule. I will be 29-30 weeks and still good to travel by air (the cruise departs from San Diego). Cross your fingers for us that they won’t have restrictions!!! This would be K and I’s FIRST EVER big vacation *and honeymoon* (we’ve taken a weekend or two away) together in 6 1/2 years!
  • *UPDATE* Just spoke with O.livia Travel – you can’t travel “on the seas” after 24 weeks preggo.  Suck.  Must now get over disappointment and come up with PLAN B.
  • G.rey’s A.natomy is tonight! I’m pretty sure it’s the season finale and I’m excited! The last few episodes have been lacking…..but last weeks was great with Meredith getting over her issues and getting back together with Derek!! Hopefully it stays that way……..
  • The D.iscovery H.ealth Channel is airing a special called “Quads With Two Moms” on June 9th. Karen and Martha are a lesbian couple who have been together for nine years. They are both pregnant with twins, using Martha’s eggs and a single sperm donor. Therefore, the babies will be quadruplets, even though they’re being carried by two different mommies. I didn’t include the You Tube preview video below, but here is the link – you can cut and paste this into your browser to see it! Good for D.iscovery H.ealth for airing a program like this!!!
  • Wow, this post didn’t really end up being that “itty bitty” at all! I think that’s pretty much everything that’s going on with us! Oh – PS – Jarratt (our oldest beagle) and I made the COVER of a local Richmond paper!!! (Picture above…..aside from me looking a little stupid, it is a great shot of my singing baby!) I was howling, along with Jarratt and a bunch of The B.eagles of R.ichmond and someone took a snap-shot! Well, I guess Jarratt’s pretty much a celebrity now!!!! (wink wink!).


Does it seem, to you, that time is flying by?? I don’t know how we could be at 10w3d already. 2nd trimester is not far off now!!! I can’t believe it – here we are. No long an embryo, our Wee One is now a fetus!!! Wooo!!! AND, get this, Wee One has fingernails now!! (I always think of that line in JUNO when I say that!) Next week the baby will be able to yawn and swallow. That blows my mind. Some days I don’t feel like this is real, but then I look at my belly that is getting ….. well, more FULL-LOOKING. (See 9wk belly pic on my BELLY SHOTS page!) My lovely belly pouch (that I had before the BFP) is starting to stick out further and my b.oobs….well, their becoming a bit of a freak of nature. Not because they’re getting so big. I expected that. They have definitely increased in size – a little bit – but it’s the other changes. First off, I’m very WHITE. When I go in the sun, I crispify or all my freckles blend together. So I look a little darker, but really it’s not a TAN, it’s just that my skin has turned into one giant freckle. My freakish white-ness never really bothered me. I always joked around with my family and friends that I was the pastey-white freak. This was just all in good fun. Anyway, getting to the point of all of that – my breasts are getting so, ahem, veiny. Like my “girls” are now a map with winding roads leading you in all directions. Is this odd??? They look so weird to me now. The viens are so blue that K said it looks like someone actually drew them on my chest. They go all the way to my n*pples!!! I was getting into the shower the other day, whipped off my shirt and just blurted “oh my gosh!!!! what the heck!!!!?”. I guess this is the body’s way of preparing for breastfeeding, so maybe it’s completely normal, but it caught me off-guard!

Also, I meant to say why I’ve been MIA earlier. I have felt really miserable (still do) and went to the doctor yesterday and was told that I have strep throat and fluid in my left ear that has been causing my ear aches. I’m also suffering from seasonal allergies (yay! enter sarcasm HERE) so my nose is completely clogged up and I have the sinus headache from hell. Not to make this a complain-y post, because that was certainly not my intention! K has probably heard enough complaints from me the last few days to last her awhile. When you feel so awful, and are in so much pain, you sometimes just need to VENT. I haven’t been sleeping much either, which doesn’t help things. Anyway. I was doing so well throughout my pregnancy (so far) with not taking a single pill for a headache or anything. And now I’m on 2 Z.ertec pills per day, 10 days of A.moxicillin at 3 pills a day and extra strength T.ylenol every 4-6 hours. People have assured me that all this is safe, but I can’t help but feel a bit guilty. I thought I had been taking good care of myself and this strep hit me out of the blue. I can’t imagine where I picked it up. Hoping these antibiotics kick it out of my system FAST so I can get back to feeling like myself again.

We didn’t end up having our Drag Dodgeball Tournament last weekend. Weather was crappy and rainy, so they canceled it, last-minute. It’s re-scheduled for June 8th, so I’ll post pictures after the event for you guys! We did pick up our bassinet though, which we love. Right now it’s home to all our cute little baby toys. This weekend I start pet-sitting for a friend of mine whose dogs I adore! This is her smallest dog ( oh-so-cute “dink” – the chihuahua).

K and I are going to try to catch the new Indiana J flick this weekend at some point and have lots of fun stuff planned. We’re both really looking forward to meeting fellow Richmond-er and blogland buddy (and her partner) NOTES FROM TWO MOMS tomorrow morning for brunch. She is 10 weeks ahead of us! Hopefully they won’t mind that my nose is as red as Rudolph’s. I’m just hoping I’m feeling heaps better by tomorrow!

We have a cookout to go to on Saturday with our beagle group, and another friend’s cookout on Monday afternoon. Yay for the long weekend! Hope you guys get to enjoy your Monday off!!!

Feeling Very Pregnant

I feel like I haven’t written a post in forever. Work has been so busy, and I’ve been rather sick. Nausea and throwing up or nausea without the throwing up, which can almost be worse. We’ve been working 12-14 hour days which are exhausting. I feel like like I could fall asleep at 7 or 8pm, and I’m a regular in-bed-at-11-or-12-girl. This morning I really struggled to get out of bed. It was a challenge. The pups were cozy and warm in bed – Jarratt cuddled against my pillow. The bed felt so nice and smelled like sleep and I didn’t want to leave. We have to work for a few hours this weekend, but I’m hoping to catch up on some zzz’s at some point. Anyway, about feeling very pregnant. Yeah, I really do. It’s like all of a sudden, it’s hit me. Week 9 has done it! I feel fat (understatement of the world)….but it’s a weird “fat” feeling. I sleep on my stomach, and my belly feels harder and bigger and there’s lots of pressure there. It almost hurts a little bit, so I often have to switch to my side. My backache is still bad and I am peeing all the time. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed the first trimester so far….I don’t really feel like myself – physically or emotionally. I’m hoping the second trimester brings more energy, less sickness and I can enjoy this amazing experience. All the bad stuff aside, it’s ALL worth it. No doubt about that. Tuesday was 9 weeks. I will update belly pics on Saturday. Here’s what’s going on (See the ticker on the right? Today is the day that Wee One gets ovaries or testes! Come on ovaries!!!) :

“You’re getting close to the end of the first trimester and your little baby is really starting to take off, with eyes and ears, and even their kidney is getting ready to start making wee-wee! Your slightly bulging mid-line could still be mistaken for too many Mallomars, but you’re on the path to steady weight gain, which we recommend you keep track of now (you’ll thank us later).”

We have a fun weekend planned. Tonight we’re getting together with a bunch of our friends from the lesbian discussion group we used to be in. The group sort of dissolved after 3 years; people just had too much going on I think. We haven’t seen some of these girls in months, so it will be nice to catch up, eat some yummy Mexican food and just relax.

Tomorrow morning we’re picking up our bassinet!! Again, we prepare early, as you all know! We’re getting the Eddie Bauer Wooden Musical Bassinet (matches our high chair, and we’re going to eventually get the dark wood swing as well!). Karli is especially excited to pick it up. So cute and we’re getting an awesome deal. We were going to buy it off ebay and it just so happened that the buyer was only 15 mins from us, so now we don’t have to pay shipping! Woo! Very excited about that. We’re also going to Woofstock on Saturday with our Beagle group. It will be nice to let the pups run and play.

Sunday evening we are going to G@y Virginia’s Annual Drag Dodgeball Tournament & Luau!! It is so much fun – and K is actually playing on a team this year!! We’re calling ourselves (of course I’ll only be watching as Wee One said he/she doesn’t want to be hit by fast-thrown ball!) MANGINA. All the guys are in 4 or 5 inch heels, with fabulous wigs, makeup and dresses or skirts. It’s hilarious. All the gals will slick back their hair and wear these shirts that K designed and will print today at the shop (shirts are flesh coloured with the word MANGINA stamped across the right chest muscle):

I am going to take lots of pictures of the tournament. Hopefully K can kick some serious drag boy ass! How sweet would it be if we won it all?? Yeah, probably not, but a girl can hope right!? Apparently, some of the people competing are pretty hardcore and even considered professional dodgeball players. I didn’t even know professional dodgeball existed. Shows what I know.

Ps. Huge CONGRATS to JKC and her girl over at Our Incredible True Adventures. They got their BFP!!! Couldn’t be happier for you both!!!

The Perfect Appointment

I’m back from my 1st appointment and decided to update you all now, rather then a few days from now. It went so well, I was eager to tell you all. I can’t begin to tell you how AMAZING our nurse practitioner was!!! The visit totally exceeded my expectations!

We arrived at the Medical Park at 9:15 or so. Our appointment was for 9:30am. I had to pee something fierce (even though I had gone to the bathroom right as we left the house!) so all I really cared about was a finding a bathroom! K insisted that we find the office first and tell them we were there. After locating Suite 205, we walked through the doors into the office, which was very classy. Framed black & white pictures of big bellied women hung on the walls. The secretary handed me a clipboard with several pages for me to fill out. First, the bathroom. “Can you point me in the right direction??” She led me to the restroom. She asked if I would mind ‘providing a sample’. Peeing in a cup? No problem! Been there, done that (MANY times!). After all those OPK’s and HPT’s, this seemed like a piece of cake. She provided me with an itty bitty pee cup, barely bigger than a thimble. WHAT is this? Seriously. Actually, it looked like one of those tiny cups that the dentist gives you to rinse your mouth out. Small. I was freaking out because I had to pee SO badly and now I had to aim into this miniscule cup. Despite my fears, the pee didn’t gush all over the place and I managed a sample just fine.

We had never met the NP before and had no idea what to expect. A few minutes later, a woman in her mid-60’s came into the waiting room, and yelled out to K and I “come on in you two!”. She had an upbeat, fiery personality and we knew immediately we’d get along with her just fine.

She included K in the whole process. We sat down in her office and she asked how I was feeling, talked somewhat about nutrition….said that it was perfectly normal to have a bit of tuna, a little bit of wine occasionally, etc….and told me to eat what I could keep down during this next month. She changed my due date from Dec 20 to Dec 16! (I’ve updated all my little blog tickers to reflect the new date!) I was hoping I wouldn’t have Wee One ON my birthday (Dec 22nd), so it was great that she said our due date was the 16th. That will give Wee One a little bit more time to get here a few days before my birthday & Christmas. Really, if our little boy or girl decides to come on one of those days, it’d be okay. (Just a request Baby, that’s all. You come whenever you’re ready!).

I was dreading getting weighed. I miss my old 135 lbs weight…..and knew I had gained a lot. I worried she would get on me for putting on some poundage. Right away she said, “I’m not going to nag you about being a little overweight. I’ve always found that if you have a little extra weight on you, you put on less during your pregnancy. My concern is the baby growing well, not your weight – you’re fine!” Sweet! Next was my blood pressure, which she said was “perfect”. She went over my medical history, did bloodwork (omitted STD stuff that we totally didn’t need) and I discussed my concerns about the pap smear. I was wondering why this was necessary. I’d never had an abnormal pap in the past, and had fears about things being shoved up there near the baby. She assured me that it was gentle, and in no way could harm the baby.

I put on the standard gown that ties in the back and sat down on the table (which was crinkling with the slightest movement). I was sort of nervous and felt like I was sweating profusely. When she came back into the room, she checked my lungs and did a breast exam. Next was the pap (ugh, my favourite part…..). I had taken the EXTRA time to make sure I did an A+ shave job and was as clean as clean could be. Clean or not though, it still feels weird to have someone else looking and inserting foreign objects into your va-jay-jay. Nevertheless, I got through it. She actually let K look inside me, which K thought was SO fascinating! It wasn’t so bad. She was joking around with both of us, and the conversation flowed with ease. She laughed and said that she loves to tease partners by saying “I’ve seen more of your partner than you have!!” Ha! She felt my uterus and said it was a “nice size ball, measuring about 8 weeks”. K loved her and wished SHE could be our midwife. She was just so cool with K and I being a same-sex couple, and she totally made us feel 150% comfortable there. She applauded us on going the home-birth route and said that our midwife was the best around.

I also asked her when we could hear the heartbeat, and she said probably next month. I was pretty disappointed. She said that she usually does that around 11 or 12 weeks. I felt like that was a long time to wait….but tried not to show my disappointment. Well, despite voicing my sadness about that, I think she could just tell I needed some kind of reassurance… she said, “Okay, come here, I have a surprise for you two!” She brought us into a dark room and I saw the ultrasound machine! (We weren’t supposed to have an ultrasound until 20 weeks) She instructed me to lay down and pull my jeans low and my shirt up bit. I was expecting cold gel on my pelvic area, but she had it heated – nice! I couldn’t believe when she pressed on my pelvis and we saw our wee one!!! “You see the white blob?” Yup. She zoomed in on the sac, and inside it we saw our baby. We saw the little heart beating away!!! You SAW it beating fast!!! I was AMAZED. This is real. It FINALLY seems real. I started crying when I saw the heart beating, and she said, “Congratulations Mommas!”. She was so happy for us, and so OKAY with us being a lesbian couple. MORE than okay actually. She was so considerate and caring. She made sure K had a spot right next to me for the ultrasound, and asked us both if we could clearly see the monitor. I CAN’T even express how happy we were with the appointment. Our minds are really at ease now! I just hope the midwife is as awesome as she was! Wow!!! We are in awe of what we saw today and just so happy. We won’t go back to see her until our 20 week ultrasound. 😦 We have an appointment with our midwife June 5th. It will be the first time that we’ll meet her! I’m crossing my fingers that our experience with her is as good as with our NP!!

Just Breathe

We had a very busy weekend! We went to ARTS IN THE PARK on Saturday, an event that goes on once a year…..tons of artwork, crafts, etc outside in the park. I took the above picture of ivy winding up a tree. Almost every tree in the park was covered in ivy – so pretty! Anyway, K and I didn’t buy anything (except for some delicious softserve ice cream for me!) but we did get some GREAT ideas for craft projects for home. We saw some framed, painted reeds that were different shades of green (it would have matched perfectly in the future nursery!). The picture was 1500 dollars….so, it wasn’t an option for us to pick that up, but we’re going to try to replicate it ourselves in a few months. It was SO hot this weekend. I am sunburnt just from walking around for 2 hours outside!!! We also took the dogs down to the River to go swimming (our oldest beagle pimping the lifejacket!) climbing the rocks, and walking on some trails. Richmond has gotten an unusual amount of rain in the last few weeks, so the water in the James River was higher than usual. K and I (and pups) weren’t able to go out as far as we normally do. We stopped at a little area that didn’t have a strong current and let the doggies swim:

We attended the memorial service for our friend N’s late parter Z on Sunday. Pictures of Z were passed around for everyone to look at. That was rough. Our hearts were breaking for N, who was joking with friends and trying to be so strong. His family and a big group of friends were there supporting him – hopefully the ‘service’ brought some closure to Nick. He planted a tree in Z’s memory and said a few words about his love. He broke down as he planted the tree – said he would always love him and would miss him beyond words. Mostly, it was just a way for N to say goodbye to Z, since he wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral. They had gotten so much done in a week – probably a good thing as it kept N so busy – they pulled up all the carpeting in the bedroom where Z died and replaced it with new stuff. They painted the room a beautiful yellow. He said it really made the room look alive again. K and I are really going to try to spend a lot more time with N in the coming months. He is excited about us being preggo and insisted that he is psychic and said that ‘yup, it’s a boy.’ in a very matter-of-fact tone. I told him that he must have it wrong, because surely it is a girl. Ha ha…. K was thrilled with N’s prediction, of course, as she is hoping that we have a little boy.

From the sadness on Sunday to great news on Monday. My good friend J did not have a miscarriage!! Thanks for the kind words of concern for her! She is so excited and relieved. She said it’s been such an emotional ride. For 6 weeks she thought she was pregnant, for 2 she thought she wasn’t, and now she is again!! The ultrasound immediately showed a sac, with a little one inside!!! She said it looked like a kitten – ha! She is exactly 2 weeks behind me!! So thrilled for her and her boyfriend.

The weekend seemed to just FLY by. It was so jam-packed with stuff, we didn’t get much of our normal “down time” to just breathe. I can’t believe we’re already at 7 weeks. Time is going by quickly. Tomorrow morning is our 1st prenatal appointment. I have no idea what to expect. We aren’t having an ultrasound until 20 wks, so I think this will mostly be going over medical history, doing bloodwork, etc. I don’t know. This isn’t my usual doctor, so I’m a bit nervous. We have all the prenatal appointments with the doctor and then the actual delivery (and probably SOME prenatal work) with our midwife. I really want to meet her in person soon. I’m going to give her a call this week to try to set something up. We both feel that it is really important to feel good about the woman who will be having such a big role in our birth. I will update later in the week about the appt!! Also, do you notice the difference in my stomach from week 6 to week 7?? Above my belly button!! It’s a totally different shape!

About Nothing In Particular

Sitting here eating organic rasberry yogurt for breakfast with a kiddie spoon. It’s miniture size and has a yellow puppy dog on it, surrounded by brightly coloured spots. I don’t even know how we got this spoon. Odd. Anyway, I’m trying to think if there is anything blogworthy to report. Not really, but I’ll try. I haven’t had any other weird cravings lately…..haven’t experienced any nausea/vomiting – yay! Right when I get up in the morning, I feel like I could possibly get sick. I eat RIGHT AWAY, trying not to go any more than 2 hours without eating – at any point throughout the day. I’m still definitely on the peeing-every-two-minutes train too. I doubt I’ll get off that one for awhile. I rush to the bathroom and don’t even pee that much….but you feel like you have to go so badly! Other weirdness (and I apologize if this it TMI for some) is that, to me, my pee smells like cheerios. I know, how odd is that?? Cheerios sitting in a bowl of milk. I guess it’s just my pregnancy nose!!! I also feel like I’m getting fatter. Really. It’s kind of depressing. K said she really noticed a change in my belly last night. She couldn’t believe it. I totally have the “B” belly. Below my belly button I have this fat pouch (I had it before, but it’s definitely bigger). It’s hard to tell with my body now though. My weight is 40lbs heavier than it was a year ago… I know I have more fat…..but something is different. I’ve added a page next to “Who Are We?” titled “Belly Shots”. I am posting my weekly pics for those interested in the changes! I really just feel flubbery, and I know it’s only gonna get worse in the coming weeks! I’m just trying to eat as healthfully as possible.

In other news, my very close friend J is going in to get an ultrasound today. She’s been on my mind a lot lately, as she told me she was pregnant (she is about 9 weeks). She has had some bleeding the last 2 weeks on and off….and I’m so scared for her. I have this sick, awful feeling that she had a miscarriage, though I’m hoping like heck my gut feeling is wrong. She told me she still feels very pregnant….nauseau, appetite, etc, but I just don’t know. She took a pregnancy test again on Saturday (2 pink lines) and she told me the second line was light. I don’t know how long the HCG can stay in your system…I would think up to a few weeks before it’s all gone. Man, I just hope I’m wrong….but bleeding during pregnancy (more than spotting) can’t be a good thing.

K and I are looking forward to the weekend. She completed a 3000 t-shirt order yesterday; it’s a huge weight lifted off her shoulders! She was in to work this morning in the wee hours of the morning (technically the middle of the night!) so I know she’s exhausted. She’s been very sweet lately too – she even woke me up yesterday morning before work and told me she had made me breakfast. A whole wheat bagel with scrambled eggs and cheese, and she even put chunks of watermelon on the plate with it! How sweet was that? I really appreciated it….stuff like that means a lot to me!

…….Unfortunately, we do have to attend a memorial service on Sunday for our friend’s partner, who committed suicide. Awful situation and our hearts are breaking for N. He had been with his partner for 15 years, and he shot and killed himself when N had left the room for only a moment. Words can’t express the pain he’s in. He will need all the support he can get this weekend, and in the coming weeks and months.

Other than that stuff, I’m just anxiously awaiting Tuesday’s appointment. I think it’s mostly going to be bloodwork and such, but still – at least someone else can tell me I’m pregnant!!! I can’t wait!

*Also* So sorry for the “other related posts” that keep popping up.  This is an automatically generated thing from wordpress……not something I’m fond of!!!!