This morning we had our first midwife appointment!!! This was an important day!!! I was so anxious and nervous to meet N, and just really didn’t know what to expect, meeting her in person. Our nurse practitioner absolutely raved about her and said that we would just love her. Everyone I have heard that has used her couldn’t stop gushing about how knowledgeable she was; this is truly her passion. We arrived at little after 8:00am at her house. It was in a beautiful neighbourhood, surrounded by greenery. We parked on the street and walked up the stone path to her house. I noticed her SUV parked in the driveway. The license plate said MIDWIFE. Cute. We had to duck as we walked up the path – beautiful greenery arched over our heads, and to each side of us, leading the way up to her home. I took my time getting to the door and just admired her chimes and overall “style”. She definitely had a unique one – earthy – yet very calm and inviting. She had plants everywhere with colourful glass watering bulbs in them. For some reason, I felt a sense of peace about her already, and the nervousness was gone.
She came to the door, smiled and introduced herself then told us to follow her. We entered a guest room (or her bedroom) with an attached bathroom. I peed in a cup, weighed and sat down on the bed. Black and white and colour photos covered her walls. Naked women clutching their newborns. Partners holding the baby. Such love. There were women in the water giving birth, up close shots of itty bitty babies just brought into the world, new mommas holding their babies to their breast for the first time. It was incredible. From there, it seemed like the time just flew…..15 mins, 20 mins, 45 mins. K and I were blown away by how much she KNEW. She talked about nutrition – she is very into organic foods and gung-ho about no junk food. She asked me a few questions, one of which was the size of my feet. She recorded it – womens’s 9 ½. About to ask another question soon after, I stopped her. “Why, may I ask, do you ask what size feet women have” Well. I had NO IDEA. She told me that women can generally birth a baby that is one size bigger than the size of their feet – meaning – I could have a baby that is 10 ½ lbs. Yikes! She asked a lot about my family history and the donor’s. It’s more likely that I will have a baby that was close in size to our donor, or the size of the babies in his background. He was 10lbs6oz. Yikes again. Scary, but this midwife really has a way about her. I talked about my desire to have a water birth, and my fear of the pain. She reassured me that the ultimately, I will have the birth I was meant to have – chances are it WILL be in water. But she cautioned me against having a birth plan that is set-in-stone. I may have to use gravity and squat; I may have to give birth holding onto a rope, or in bed, or just NOT in the water. She really believes in listening to your body and what it is telling you. She said that the baby and I will work TOGETHER to birth and will choose the method that is best at the time. I was comforted nonetheless. She let me know that labour for first time mothers generally can be 1-3 days and said, “don’t worry, we’ll have fun!!!” She also has 9 birthing tanks that we can choose from, so we don’t have to go and buy one. She said they go from very small all the way up to 500 gallons! Wow! We may have a birthing assistant, a sort of doula persay, there to help N deliver Wee One in December. She feels that this is a good idea for first time home births, as both she and I will need the help. I feel so relieved now that K and I have met her. I know my girl was just as happy with the visit as I was – and like me – was impressed with her manner and experience. She has a great track record, and everyone has nothing but amazing things to say about her. You know that’s saying something after 20 years of birthing babies! One of her patients just recently said:
“She has the strong, loving hands of a woman who’s life has been dedicated to midwifery, and she has such a unbelievable way of breaking down and simplifying what should be the most beautiful event of your life, and it was. Her wealth of knowledge and trusting, disarming personality brought about a certain confidence in my wife that she could have the birth experience that she deserved. She was tough during labor when needed and always supportive, and loving, illuminating a path to a perfect personal birth and a kind of rebirth in ourselves..” (Altered real name to ‘my wife’)”
She recently won an award …. hear’s what they say…..
“For over 20 continuous years N, as she is known to all her client mothers, has offered an incredible service to the families of the Richmond area. She has built a sole home birth midwifery practice with an incredible record of exemplary outcomes and a legacy of empowering women in birth. Her gentle hands and light touch have served so many women throughout their childbearing cycle; from the early, nervous initial appointments to the postpartum checkup, N takes as much time as each woman needs to support her through that stage. Her thorough care and genuine love and understanding of mothers and babies has guided hundreds of families through their childbirth experience.
That pretty much says it all!
We also got to HEAR the Wee One’s heartbeat for the first time. It took a little while, as N said that the placenta must be right on top. After a little while, there it was. The steady….bum bum bum of the heart. Wow. K was the one this time that got choked up, but I was mighty close. How amazing is this whole journey, that now we have this little one growing in my belly. I wish this for EVERY woman, gay or straight. For those of you TTC, I can’t wait to read about your firsts! First time you see that BFP, first doctor’s appointment, first time you hear the heartbeat and see your baby, the first time you feel the baby move (I’m still waiting for that one!). This experience has changed me, and I know it’s changed K. Many more changes to go through in the next months and years. I can’t believe that on Tuesday, we’ll be in the 2nd trimester. This sometimes feels like a dream. I’ll end now, as this will probably seem like a novel to you all! If you are still reading all the way down here at the end, I’m impressed. I appreciate you all so much. xo
* K says she can’t tell a difference. What!!!? I definitely can…….*