What’s On YOUR Nightstand?


I swear I’m one of the last people to do this meme, but here goes nothing!! I was tagged by reproducing genius & love+love=marriage.

Rules, rules, rules: post what you’ve got on the table (chair, nightstand, whatever) beside your bed. Leave nothing out. Nothing. Link back to the kind person who tagged you and then tag 3 other folks. Really tag them – none of this “whoever hasn’t done this meme yet” tagging.

We don’t technically have a bedside table.  We have a white cube-storage unit type thing (in an “L” shape) that has three surfaces….descending like stairs….(the top one has our dvd player and flatscreen tv on it).  This unit has empty cubes you can put leather or canvas drawers in.  Sort of like this:


We have 5 drawers (3 red, 2 black) filled with stuff (I couldn’t possibly list EVERYTHING in them).  But, here’s what’s visible…..

1. Books:

*Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling  *John Kerry: A Portrait by George Butler * Trace by Patricia Cornwell *Black Notice by Patricia Cornwell * For Edgar by Sheldon Rusch * Dan Eldon: The Art of Life by Jennifer New * Maternal Desire by Daphne de Marneffe * Too Beautiful To Die by Glennville Lovell

2.  Random Movies:

* Goonies *Grumpy & Grumpier Old Men *Fletch Lives

3. Roots For Her perfume

4. BBT

5. A bunch of black rocks in a small vase

4. Scented oil /wax cube tealight candle aroma burner thing.  Wow, that was REALLY non-descriptive and terrible.

5. Vase with a black, fake rose it in.

6. Black picture frame with a picture of K kissing me on the cheek.  Circa 2002.

7. Olive Garden plastic kiddie cup half-full of water.

8.  The Walking Dead comics, issues 41-47. LOVE them.

9. 4-inch black high heels from ALDO.

10. Jarratt’s collar.  Black leather with a little silver bone charm.

11. K’s glasses. 

So, not all that exciting eh?  One thing I have noticed from reading all of these on other’s blogs….people have a lot of books by their beds!

Well, we had our 2nd insem earlier today around 4pm.  We are opting out of doing one tomorrow.  We had less “stuff” today from KD, but I stayed laying down for longer, and didn’t seem to have as much “leakage”.  Hips more elevated too.  And I switched to my stomach and sides for awhile too, as some of you have suggested that that coats the cervix better!!! So, now on to the TWW.  I’m having some questions about ovulation day and temps on my chart…. I may post that tomorrow and try to get some input from you girls!!

Oh, I’ll tag a few people – sorry if you’ve done this!

* Lynn over at Family Style Love

* Vee & Jay

* We Are Fambly

ANDDDDDD on to a new week!


Fingers Crossed


We got back a few hours ago from one of our Beagle Meetup events. It was the 6th Annual Dog Jog & 5K Walk. K and I aren’t crazy about participating in this type of event with our pups, as we have to struggle with 3 very overly-excited dogs on leashes. It usually ends in entanglement of leashes, dogs gasping for air as they run along – collars choking them- and us tripping over the leashes or eachother, cursing at ourselves and complaining about what a pain this all is. So, we opted out of the walk and just joined the group afterwards at a member’s home for finger food and off-leash play for the rats. It’s a great, fun group of people. Surprisingly, we have quite a few gay & lesbian members. We’ve said before that it really should just be called the Gay & Lesbian Beagle Meetup Group 😉

Some of our close friends in the group know we’re trying to get pregnant. A really fun young couple I’ll call C&J asked “how things were going”. This always leads to me saying something like “Yeah….we’re not pregnant ……not yet…but we’re still trying….and they do say that the average for a healthy couple is yadda yadda yadda….”. “AWH”, most reply. My girl….she jumps right into the conversation, no holds barred, “I did hit it up this morning though……smiling and winking at them…..that’s why we were late!!” We were all sitting down on couches and lounge chairs. It was a pretty close-knit group. Enter laughter. We were dying laughing. I usually get on her for telling our friends when we’ve been doing it…but I’ve really gotten much more relaxed about it. Our straight friends, and gay (and not TTC) friends are really just so curious about the whole process, and it’s been cool to tell them more about it all. Everyone was like, “Nice! So HOW long did you have to keep your legs up!?” More laughter. It was a great time. We really did show up pretty late. One hour late.

KD actually called us before we called him this morning! K and I were impressed! We got to his place and chatted for awhile. He never just likes to get down to business. He enjoys visiting with us and asking us what we’ll be up to for the rest of the day. As we were chatting, about 5 or 6 of his friends came in to the apartment. (He has 2 roommates). They were all going down to SLAUGHTERAMA – an annual bash with movies, a scavenger hunt, shows, parties, major events. It’s basically a crazy biker event where people drink six-packs while cycling around….not my type of deal – but something right up KD’s alley. Anyway, we ended up hanging around his pad for quite a bit longer than anticipated. I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable by pulling THE CUP out of my purse and handing over to him in front of all his buds. He was very cool about it all though…after shmoozing with them for awhile and deciding he was going to “grab some grub” before heading down to the biker bash, he told his friends….”Yeah, I just gotta ‘help them out’ first, and then I’ll be down there….” Enter them making a few jokes I couldn’t really hear…..I think I make out “chokin’ the chicken’ and a few others. His friends all like to poke fun at each other, but deep down, are really good guys that care a lot about KD and think it’s pretty cool what he’s doing for us. Usually KD is in the bathroom for about 15 minutes and we get 1 – 1.5cc’s of the goods. Today must have been our LUCKY DAY, because he was in and out of the bathroom in 3 minutes! I got home, opened the cup and drew up the stuff in the syringe. We got at least a good 2cc’s!!! No air bubbles or anything. I think it was a new record!

K and I had a lovely little love session 🙂 She made sure the stuff was in me before, ahem, the big “o”, and then I laid with hips up for about 25 minutes. I still struggled with “leakage” after I got up. Is this pretty normal? I hate seeing a bunch of stuff come out, even after 25 minutes. K inserted the syringe as far as she could, and pushed the plunger very slowly. I know nothing came out before 25 mins time…..but, I’ve thought about using the Instead Cup for the next insemination next month (HOPEFULLY we won’t need to do that…..) just to prevent this. I am going to try to stay laying down for even longer after tomorrow’s insemination. I still feel like it went really well. The timing was good and I was impressed with the 2cc’s. After reading all your comments, I think we may skip out on Monday’s insem, as it will probably be too late. So, feeling pretty good. Thanks for all your comments and good wishes. K & I are feeling really positive right now. Listening to SONDRE LERCHE, whom I love, and looking forward to a fun game night tonight with friends. Just hoping for the best with crossed fingers.



CD18. Positive OPK. Insems scheduled for tomorrow morning (Saturday) and Sunday morning/early afternoon. Kindly told KD to pleeeease keep cell ON, as we only have a small window.

Do you think we should do a Monday insemination for good luck, or would you say that would be too late? I got the positive OPK at 2:00pm with a Target brand test. The test says that it predicts ovulation 24-48hrs in advance. My thinking was that tomorrow’s insemination would be the day before O, Sunday being the day of O, and Monday the day after. Thoughts?

Oh Where, Oh Where Could My Positive Be? *updated*



CD17 and every OPK is coming up negative. I’ve been doing one in the morning, and one in the afternoon to catch the surge. How can one run out of OPK’s so quickly!? I’ll be making another trip to get more this aft.

Lovely KD had a little “accident”. Beer + crowd surfing (at a venue with carpeted floors, don’t ask me WHY a bar would have carpeted floors) = drunk people dropping you flat on your face and you getting severe carpet burn (yeah- ALL over your face). He looked like someone had beat him up, poor thing. His eye was swollen and he has huge red splotches on his cheeks and forehead. Luckily he didn’t really injure his eyes. I know how bad carpet burn is. I used to slide down our very long AND steep carpeted staircase, in my childhood home, on a mattress. (We lived in the country, and I had to entertain myself, okay?). I fell off one time and slid all the way down the stairs – the carpet burning away at my bare skin. Legs, arms. I can only imagine how KD’s face feels. OUCH. He’s a trooper though, and still will be giving us precious deposits when we need him.

The OPK lines are starting to get darker, but I haven’t had the really dark pink line yet. I don’t know what to do. Should we insem tonight, skip tomorrow, and then insem Sat & Sun? I have EWCM. KD and K & I have a lot going on tomorrow evening. Working until 5pm. Go home, take a shower, get ready. Go out to a dinner with friends for 6:15. Head to the bar for the Drag King show at 8:30pm….that goes till 10 or so, then there’s the dancing that goes till late 1am-ish….don’t know if we’d stay that late though….. KD is out Friday night with friends…. I really think Friday will be out. So, do we insem tonight just to get one in there, and then hope for the + tomorrow, moving on to Sat & Sun insems??? Advice girls!!!

I’m at work right now, doing some paperwork. We have the big doors open in the shop, a beautiful breeze blowing in. It’s supposed to get up to 80 degrees today. Hope wherever you all are, you are enjoying life & love. The above picture is a BRADFORD PEAR tree. We have one right outside the shop. It is so pretty when it is blooming, but smells absolutely rank. K & I call them Fish Trees. Sarah over at Mrs. Bluemont’s House of Things called them Cum Trees in one of her recent posts. I know exactly what she’s talking about. Our last insemination, I had to fight hard with my stomach to keep the gag reflex down and the urge to upchuck to a minimum. Hard to believe we need this stuff so badly to reach our dreams to become mothers. Smell and all, I am thankful we are getting these gifts each month. One of them will make our dream a reality.


We worked until 7pm

KD was going out with friends at 7:15ish.

He told us to call him at 9:15 or so.

Called at 9:30pm…cell went to voicemail.

Got ready to leave a message for him…

Voicemail Box is F U L L.

Disappointed.  K is in bed with our pups.

I guess tonight is out.

He hasn’t called back.

Ugh, and the EWCM is p-e-r-f-e-c-t.


This is F R U S T R A T I N G.


Bingo Girls


K and I are back from D.C. We had a lovely day with Grams at the assisted-living facility. We had lots of hugs, chatted and watched the caged birds fly around and kiss each other. It’s Grams birthday this Friday – she’ll be 91. Hopefully she’ll be out of the nursing home by then. She wants to have a little “bash” to celebrate. And by “bash” I mean RED LOBSTER. She hearts Red Lobster. We spent several hours visiting with her. The facility was having BINGO at 2pm. We helped wheel her down to the game room, where Grams’ nurse fixed her a cup of tea. It was 10 mins after 2:00 and the bingo “caller” still hadn’t showed up, so Karli and I volunteered to ‘call’ the next hour of games for the old folks!! With a room full of adorable wrinkled faces, I spun the wheel and pulled out each ball, passing it to K, who would announce it to the group. The winner of each game received a quarter. How cute is that. Joe, the sweetest 93-year old I’ve ever seen won 3 games in a row, and they said he had reached his limits of wins!! Poor thing. Cute bunch, but some of them were mean little things! I couldn’t believe how feisty they got!!

Here is a picture of K after Bingo. I’d like to call this picture – SEXUAL SPICE. (This picture labeled SEXUAL SPICE because after I handed K one of the bingo balls, she called out O 69……OHHHH 6-9. Ha! I know, we are such children!!! How cute is my girl though eh?) I MADE her pose. I thought this was too cute to pass up.


Here is Grams with the two of us (her hair is just now starting to grow back from the chemo):


After leaving the nursing home, we drove to the D.C. IKEA. Loves it. We spent a few hours there, trying to get some ideas for our new place. The allergies have hit me – FULL FORCE. I’ve gone through several rolls of toilet paper, boxes of kleenex and rolls of paper towels. My nose is RAW, but I guess your body just has to go through this to adjust to the new weather. We’re predicting a TUESDAY insemination, possibly Wednesday. Tomorrow is CD14. Bring on the positive OPK’s people!!!

Well, You Can’t ALWAYS Feel 100%


Cough drops? check.

Pain Killers? check.

Drinking lots of H20? check.

Pumped full of Vitamin C and echineacha? check.

This lady just looks in pain doesn’t she? Ugh. That’s how I feel – exactly like that picture. I thought I could go about a year without catching a bad cold, really. I haven’t had bad allergies or headaches this year, or thrown up….actually, I’ve felt pretty good! The healthy streak has ended, I think. I caught something last night……throat is killing me something fierce right now, and I hope I’m not headed for Strep. I’m getting to bed early tonight with some TylenolPM hoping the sleep will help me by tomorrow.

K’s 26th birthday is on Saturday. I’ve gotten her a few things already, including tickets to see Jason Mraz in a few weeks, and some adorable boy-cut undies. Whenever I ask her where she wants to go to eat for her birthday, she can never make her mind up…..so I was just waiting till it got closer to Sat night before we figured out where to go. She really wants to go up to D.C. on Saturday to visit her Grandma, who is turning 90 at the end of this month, and has cancer. She is in an assisted-living place, temporarily, while she is recovering from chemo. It really spoke volumes to me when she said that’s how she wanted to spend her birthday. More than anything, she just wants to spend time with her….that’s what she wants to do. So, we may spend the weekend up there. I really want her to have a great weekend, especially with the long hours we’ve been pulling. She needs a little bit of a getaway, and I know “Grams” will be very happy to see us too. She really is the sweetest thing. So prim and proper. We told her 3 months ago that we were trying to have a baby, and just a few weeks ago, she was in town and came to the condo. We showed her a few of the baby things we’ve collected. She thought they were so cute and said, “Well, this baby just better get here already!”. She is hilarious. Sweet, funny and full of personality. K said awhile back, “Now … GRAMS….”, getting her attention, “You know you’ve got to vote for gay marriage!” And Grams responded, “Oh, yes dear!!”. How freaking awesome is that???

My own grandma is 94 and doesn’t even know about K and I. I want so badly to get pregnant. I want my Nana to be able to hold the baby, just once. I know K wants that too. But with my family situation, I know that this is unlikely to happen. Grams is like a Grandma to me too – she has gone through chemo treatment and radiation many times; her body is strong. But she has decided she won’t do anymore chemo from now on. A person can only go through that so much. So, it will be good to spend time with her. That is our plan for the weekend. We’ll spend the day with Grams, and hopefully go somewhere nice on Sunday so we can just have a relaxing day, just she and I.

Back in TTCLand, today is CD9; I have to pick up some OPK’s in the next few days and start peeing on sticks. KD is saying that his “super sperm” will do it this month. Let’s hope so. K and I are R E A D Y to see a BFN!

K-The Kedge & Karaoke


Thanks girls, for all the encouragement and support.  That meant a lot.  Well, she showed up – the blood – not to my surprise after that huge temperature drop, but much to my disappointment. At the time, it felt devastating. Negativity was marinating in my mind and spirit for a few too many days for my liking. The cramps arrived, along with the heavy bleeding that just makes your whole body ache. I was miserable. Every pang stabbing away at my hopes for a Christmas baby. Don’t the fertility gods realize that we have too many adorable outfits that are oh-so-very-yuletide-like-utterly-reeking-of-Christmassy-cuteness? More importantly than outfits…don’t they realize how badly we want this to work? My head and heart want a baby, but my body doesn’t seem to be thinking the same way. Things never go according to our timeline though. This I have realized.

The pain has lessened now. I’ve gotten through the disappointment of our last failed attempt with the help of K. She was sweet and consoling and perfect in my “I’M SORRY I’M SUCH A FAILURE!!!, WILL WE EVER GET PREGNANT???, I NEED TO CRY IN THE BATHROOM!!! – type breakdown.” All I needed was for her to be lovely and positive, and she was. She handled the news so well. I know it got her down, but she bounced right back. She didn’t let her disappointment stop her from being there for me, being my rock. My kedge. It’s an odd word – KEDGE. A kedge is an anchor that keeps a ship steady. I think that’s fitting that I call her that. She was my anchor during the hours and days after AF reared its ugly head. I truly couldn’t get through all of this without her humour and love.

Our donor’s encouragement for the upcoming cycle helped too. He just said, “Don’t worry, you just let me know when you need me and I’m there.” He also nonchalantly said, “It’s probably just because we’re not doing it the old-fashioned way”, with a smirk on his face. Bless his heart. Yeah, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. But, still, it was a good laugh.

I enjoyed a few killer Bahama Mamas last night at the local lesbian bar, during a very-painful-for-the-ears gratifying evening of karaoke with friends. I’m all about people jumping on up there and just having a good time. It’s not about getting “seen” in hopes of been signed by a major music label or anything. Some people really do act that way though. SO very serious. And they really believe they are God’s gift to karaoke night. Completely confident (and off-key) they belt it out – painfully for all those listening. They stroll offstage, pride – and mullet – intact. Yeah….it was rough. But we had some laughs – and really, it just helped to have a night away from TTC stress, have a good time with my girl and feel the weight of all the not-pregnant sadness lift off my shoulders. Not to mention, I hadn’t had a drink in forever; it was lovely.

Last cycle, our first 2 insems were way too early. I had gone on just CM/CF. The other too were perfectly timed, just unfortunately didn’t take. I really am going to put the money out there, this cycle, to get good OPK’s and test twice daily. How soon after a +OPK do you girls recommend ‘sperming up’? We really can only ever do the inseminations at night, unless it is on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case we could do an afternoon try. When I got the positive SMILEY OPK (we got the + at lunchtime), we did the insemination at 10 or 10:30 that evening. For those of you who have gotten pregnant, how soon after a + did you insem? What do you all recommend? We’re hoping that 3 will be our lucky number. Any tips or advice that you think would help us for ICI number three?

We still have one more shot at getting our wee one in time for Xmas. Will we be able to do it? Will it work this time? I am absolutely not giving up hope. And if it doesn’t work, I’ll still have my girl. My love. My kedge to keep me steady through this emotional storm.