Breathe In, Breathe Out

me

 

I’m really sleepy. It’s 11:30pm. I don’t know WHY I’m not in bed asleep. I’ve been fiddling with the computer for the last few hours. No need to, really. I was spending most of that time on youtube, checking out some music videos. Karli is in bed asleep with 2 of our beagles – Olivia & Bentley. Jarratt (our oldest pup) is asleep on my feet. I don’t know WHY I stay up when I feel physically exhausted. My body was telling me to hit the sack at 8:30 tonight. I always do this to myself – it’s a terrible habit I’ve gotten into. I think it’s easier knowing that I can sleep in tomorrow morning. Karli worked yesterday from 2:30am (yikes!) to 6:30pm and today was a 9 hour day…….I’m so happy it’s the weekend. I am craving sleep….yet here I am. I really cannot wait to hit the pillow…. SO, I’ll be brief!

 

Yesterday officially told me that I did not ovulate….the start of a NEW cycle…..well, at least it wasn’t 48 days this time! But, it’s a little disappointing. 2 months, no ovulation. But, I see the doctor in a month, so I’m not stressing – yet. I actually feel alright. I know it will happen when it is meant to happen. SO, if we’re not meant to get pregnant in December, that’s okay. If it takes a few months, or a year – I’m okay with that. When we do start TTC in December, I am going to try to stay as calm as possible and completely prepare myself that this process may take longer than I originally thought.

 

I’m off to bed…….. I leave you with Mat Kearney’s latest song, “Breathe In, Breathe Out”. I saw this guy play in Norfolk, Va. He’s amazing. Check out his cd, “Nothing Left To Lose”….it’s AWESOME.

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4 thoughts on “Breathe In, Breathe Out

  1. I do the same thing (obviously- it’s after 2, and I could’ve gone to bed at 11!), I’m guessing it’s related to stress for you, with the whole lack of ovulation. Sometimes one needs to distract oneself from routines in order to feel better- that’s my theory anyway. I hope you have better luck next month. I know it’s difficult, but you’re young, so there’s plenty of time for it to happen, so try not to stress too much if you can help it. May I ask what means you will be using once you begin your inseminations? My partner and I did it at home, and it only took two attempts (I’m 28 and had 1 pregnancy, and child, prior to that). I hope I’m not prying too much, just trying to be helpful. Tell me to back off at anytime, I can take it!

  2. I really love Mat Kearney! I admit it, I found him through Grey’s Anatomy, but Shonda Rhimes (the writer) has brought a lot of amazing artists into the spotlight. Regina Spektor, anyone?

    The nerve wracking thing I’ve found about preparing for TTC is not knowing if your body is as regular as you think. 4 months you hold steady at 26/28 days and then BOOM, you have a 32 day cycle and you’re not even sure if you really ovulated. Good luck =)

    P.S. That woman in his music video is Q’Orianka Kilcher from The New World. I would know this because I am sort of obsessed with that movie.

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