Karli and I attend a lesbian discussion group every other Tuesday evening. It’s sort of our “lesbian interaction” for the month (besides hanging out with close friends now and then). The members of the group range in age (more than a handful are inching towards retirement) and personality. I don’t think Karli and myself are the norm in the group (or in the community in general). We’re young and stable(been together for close to 6 yrs), committed to each other, and NOT about drama, and definitely not into the “club scene”. Why does it SEEM that most of the young lesbian couples surrounding us are only into sleeping around and getting drunk….? We meet a new couple and always hope they’ll be sort of on the same page as us…….and then after a few minutes of chatting, Karli and I both give each other that look. At what age will they grow out of this? And why did we never get INTO it to begin with?
We are the youngest couple that actively participates in our discussion group. The average age of most of these women is between 36-66. Where are all the young women? Is this a Richmond thing? We’re finding it rather difficult. We joined the group 2 years ago to have some positive social interaction with lesbian women in our area. Attendance in the group has been a little weak lately…..maybe it’s the summer months…..maybe people are just getting sick of the drama. I know I am. Not just that, but SOME of the ladies seem bitter about life in general, and don’t seem overly happy. Ugh, talk about depressing….I know what you’re thinking, “Why WOULD any young lesbians want to go to this group?”.
Well, I still have hope for it. We’re working on bringing some new flavour to the group. And, instead of topics like, “Lesbian Retirement Living”, (a SLIGHT exaggeration of the types of topics we have had, but still……) Karli has been suggesting things like, “Lesbian SEX.” Her outrageous and witty comments have brought a lot of laughter and life to the group lately. Some of the older folk have strangely missed the last few meetings….. he he, are we bad people? Karli always jokes around and says to me that she is purposely picking topics of little or no interest to them so they won’t attend!! For some of my lovely older lesbians that DO attend our group, you know I am not speaking about you!!! Really, are we terrible? *Although I often appreciate the insight of the “mature” lesbian couples, at the same time……it is so painstakingly clear that we are from two very different generations: One lady in her early 60’s told us that if you (and I quote…) ‘have to use sex toys in your relationship, you have problems’. (Little did she know her partner of 32 years approached us afterwards and apologized for the comment and stated that she really wished her woman was more “open to that sort of thing” in their relationship.) …………Ouch.*
I finally have been stepping up as well, and suggesting topics that would be of interest to me personally. And, sure enough, they picked my topic! One woman was so intrigued with my suggestion that she even located GUEST SPEAKERS! So, tomorrow night we have a couple coming in to talk about LESBIAN INSEMINATION and PARENTING. Whoo hoo! They chose an anonymous donor, and now have a toddler and an infant and have been down the very path that we are about to travel along. Long story short (actually, nothing about this post was SHORT)…..I’m really looking forward to hearing their story!!