And Now, We Wait.

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Saturday

3:00pm.  I’m in a movie theatre bathroom, peeing in a cup.  This OPK is  darker than the last one.  K’s dad and little brother wanted us to see a movie with them.  Alien VS Predator: Requiem.  It’s entertaining, but gory.  We have fun hanging out with them.  K doesn’t fall asleep once during the film.

4:30pm.  We’ve been calling our donor since 11am.  I’ve left 2 voicemail on his cell, 1 on his house phone.  He hasn’t returned our calls.  Weird.  I’m getting scared.  This is odd.  We can’t lose out on this month! Okay, I’m worried now. What if he’s gotten into a car accident or something?

5:00pm.  We try his house phone again and finally get ahold of him.  K explains how worried I’ve been.  “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” she says.  He left his cell in his friend’s car.  Oh.  Then she says, “You talk to him”.  He had sex last night.  Ugh. That sucks.  Safe sex, but still, sex.  We didn’t expect him to stop having a sex life, but, he doesn’t have sex THAT often… and we’re disappointed.  He had it yesterday.  Not as many swimmers for us tonight.  K is discouraged; I can see it on her face.  We tell our donor that we’ll call him back in a few minutes.  We vent about how frustrating this is.  We debate about not even doing the insemination.  No, we decide to just go ahead with our plans, and hope for the best.  We agree on inseminating Sat and Sun evening.  Our donor is going to be worn out after this weekend!

8:00pm.  We are sitting in our donor’s family room, going over the sperm donor contract with him.  He reads through it.  Things go well.  We all chat.  30 minutes later, K and I are listening to The Cure.  He is in his bedroom with our sterile collection cup.  We talk.  I’m nervous.  But it’s an excited type of nervousness.  I can’t believe this time has finally come.  We hold hands.  This could be it.  He walks out of his bedroom holding the cup.  He has this very funny smile on his face.  We jump up.  I take the cup from him, give him a hug, and we run out of the house.  K turns on the heat in the SUV right away.  I put the cup in between my legs. We drive home.  It takes us exactly 5 minutes from his door, to ours.

9:20pm.   My hips have been up on pillows for 20 minutes now.  My legs hurt.  I’ve been holding them up so my hips are propped up more. I didn’t think I would be so emotional.  Something happened.  I looked into her eyes and just lost it.  That’s the woman I love.  We’re making a baby. The tears came, and the emotions came over us both.  We just did something so amazing.  We’re creating a family from our love.  For that brief moment, it was overwhelming.

Another insem Sunday evening, and then we wait.  I never thought the TWW would be that bad.  Think again.  I already can’t wait to find out if the first time was the charm.

Today Is THE Day

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Woke up this morning and took my temperature. 97.91. A little higher than usual. I then proceeded to pee on the stick. I usually don’t even SEE a test line…just the control line. The test line started appearing …. It was pretty dark. I called our donor. Got his voicemail. Left a message something like, “It looks like tonight is going to be the night….we will definitely need you, so, umm, call us and we’ll talk!”  I’m washing the sheets, printing off the donor contract, and gathering everything we need.  I am going to do another OPK at 3pm, in hopes that the test line will be even darker.  So, we’re planning on an insem tonight, and maybe one tomorrow night.  We still need to run out and grab a sterile collection cup.  I’m nervous and excited.  I don’t know what to expect.  I keep picturing Karli or I holding a container of fresh sperm under one of our armpits, or in between our legs – trying to get it home and everything done in time.  I’m just going to have fun with my girl, imagine what our love will make and enjoy this crazy adventure.

Practically A Post Of Pictures

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We had a very nice Christmas. Warm blankets & hot chocolate. Early morning kisses. Michael Buble singing “White Christmas”. Opening stockings and gifts. Too many presents from my girlfriend. She got me a beautiful dark brown corduroy jacket AND black sweater from H&M (one of my FAVOURITE stores!), purses from NY & CO, new running shoes, and too many more lovely things! We had lunch at the house, played some board games and enjoyed Chinese food for dinner (Peking – the ONLY restaurant that was open in Richmond on Christmas day!). Here’s a shot from when I woke up Christmas morning. I went out on the balcony of our condo and I looked up at the electrical wires – – – – – – PS. BIRDS!!!

The whole feathered family celebrating the holiday:

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Our Christmas tree:

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Here is a picture of my adorable K posing in front of the restaurant on Christmas night:

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Our own little TACKY-LIGHT-TOUR through Richmond (can you believe THIS one????):

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Side note: Congrats to FAMILY STYLE LOVE (familystylelove.blogspot.com) on the birth of their beautiful baby boy, born December 23rd.  Jump on over there and welcome little Harris to the world!

On our TTC front, tomorrow is CD16. Fertility Friend is predicting that I will ovulate on CD18 (Saturday)- the same day I ovulated last month. I got a negative OPK this morning, and this afternoon. Blah. Should happen soon, if all goes well.  I have NO clue when I ovulate, really. No ovulation pains. CF/CM gives me somewhat of an idea…but, ultimately, I need those positive OPK’s!

Our donor is dropping off the paper copy of his STD Panel results tomorrow. He is aware that I will be ovulating in the next few days, and is ready for the call that we need his “donation”. All that’s left is for him to sign his Donor Contract – giving up all his parental rights, securing ours and protecting ALL parties involved in this arrangement. Here’s hoping for a positive girls! Happy Boxing Day!

Holiday Wishes!

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Many people recommended that I start a blog.  Originally, I thought that it was something that I would start when I was pregnant.  I had no idea that I would so thoroughly enjoy it or find so much support and encouragement from other women going through our same situation.  I wish that the respect and support I’ve found in this “community” was around us every day – in the real, non-blogland world.  I feel lucky to have found all you guys – and honoured that you all open your lives so that we may gain something from your experiences.  It is easy to look around, even in this day in age, and have people (family, or strangers) judging us on creating a family as same-sex parents.  Over this past year, I have realized that it is so important to surround yourself with positive people.  This blog has been an outlet to finding more of that wonderful positivity! The TTC community is amazing.  Every blog I read confirms what I know in my heart – it is about love.  In a few short days, K and I will be beginning the journey to add “a little more love” to our lives.  I hope you all will stick around for the ride.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.  For those of you on the TTC road, I hope for you – a little bundle of joy to love in 2008.  Health and happiness to all you girls.

Positive Results! Well, actually, Negative!

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AF is long gone. Tomorrow is CD9, and we are happy campers! Our donor is healthy and STD-FREE! Yay!!!! K actually got teary-eyed when he told us the great news. We would have been very disappointed if something came back positive. We are picking up a paper copy of results – just to have EVERYTHING down on paper though- clearly stated. SOOO, girlies, this means – it’s business time! Fertility Friend is predicting that I will ovulate on CD18, which will fall on December 29th (Saturday). AHH, ONE WEEK from THIS Saturday! The first insemination. I am so excited. WE are so excited.

K is out shopping, and I am just catching myself up on blogging, reading, and enjoying a quite evening alone at home. I have the Christmas tree up and am feeling good. I am thrilled for FAMILY STYLE LOVE  (http://familystylelove.blogspot.com/) who are expecting their first baby any day (or minute) now! What a Christmas present for the two of them!

I am completely done with K’s stocking. Stockings are pretty much my favourite part of Christmas shopping. I love spending the time finding those perfect little things to fill it up! So, just a few small things left, and I am ALL done! That’s a good feeling, as the malls are going to be INSANE this weekend!

Today was our Christmas lunch. We went to FIREBIRDS (http://www.firebirdsrockymountaingrill.com/) and I enjoyed a Pina Colada (maybe my last!) at the bar and then a lovely meal with K, her dad and one of K’s screenprinters. Chicken Quesedillas with black beans, corn and lots of cheeses, fresh bread, french fries, turkey sandwich……yeah, I’m stuffed. Didn’t need dinner after that lunch!

I’m getting more and more excited for Christmas and being able to spend some time off with K. We have Friday off, and she is taking me somewhere (she’s being very “secret squirrel” about it all, actually) to celebrate my 24th birthday (on Saturday). My youngest brother (2 years older than me) and I always joked when we were growing up about how close our bdays are to XMas. He was always HAPPY BIRTHMAS (Dec. 17), and I was MERRY BIRTHMAS (Dec.22nd). I can’t believe I’m going to be 24. The years have flown by! I really think K and I will be at a great age when we have the little one that doesn’t yet “exist”!!! She will be 26 in March. I want us to be young and active with our children, and think we are making a wise decision to start early. I think this stems from the fact that my Mom and Dad are older (my mom is 62, my dad 63), so there was quite an age gap between us (then again, I am the 7th child….so it’s not like they started late!).

I start OPKing in 2-3 days. I have been using cheapies, and have yet to get that “positive” test result (control line coming out AS DARK or DARKER than the test line). I really don’t want to mess this up this month. Do you guys think we should use the Clear Blue Easy Digital (with the smiley face) OPK’s?? If not, what do you recommend as far as inseminating, if we don’t get the DARK DARK control line?? Pay attention to CF/CM? Sex drive? Should we insem every other day with fresh “stuff” ??? Thanks girls. Hope you all are enjoy this lovely holiday season!!!

You Girls Are Good

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CD1 people. Thanks for all the kind words of reassurance on my chart. You all are extremely talented in predicting periods! Ha! Okay, that’s a little ….. well…..gross. I jest, I jest people…..No, seriously though, thank you! You all were great – and I am always amazed at the knowledge each of you has when it comes to this stuff!

I would type more if I wasn’t having such intense cramps…it’s taking my breath away. Came home from the shop actually because of them. This is SO unusual for me. I tried to just lay down and rest, but I can’t even stay still because of the pain. Any suggestions when 2 extra strength Midol do NOTHING?

Man, thinking that this could be my last period for AWHILE is such a happy thought……. (I know it very well could not be too…I’m not expecting to get pregnant on the first attempt….but still…anything to take my mind off the cramps…..)

Tick Tock …

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December 11th.  I can’t believe how close it’s getting to Christmas!

Okay, I thought this comic (above) was hilarious.  K and I were at the mall late last week and saw the mall cops “patrolling” (yeah right!), and riding around on their scooters, glaring at teens…. this is something I think is so ridiculous.  They are zooming by us, totally decked out in police gear…..they look pompous, like they really think they are in a position of POWER.  They almost knock people over!  I could go on and on about this….like how I can’t believe that as a society now we need MALL POLICE – but, after the latest shooting….I guess it doesn’t seem that ridiculous.  In that sense (scary isn’t it?)….there is a real need for a “police” presence.  But how I saw those mall cops last week, was in a very different light……

I’ve been trying to do some Christmas shopping…I’ve been working on the stocking stuffers for my girl, and browsing for ideas for XMas Gifts.  K is a very difficult person to buy for.  I’ve been asking and asking her for ideas for gifts she needs or wants.  She’ll see something, and say, “YEAH!!! You can get me THAT!!!!” I respond: “Great!”  I’m making a mental note to purchase that this week.  Just as that thought has come and gone, she says, out of the blue:  “No….actually, don’t get me that…..”  And trails off.  Argh.  I have no clue what she REALLY wants. She is quite finicky!

Time is passing by.  We’re STILL waiting on the STD Panel results for our donor.  We should have had them by now.  Hoping we’ll hear tomorrow.  We just want the “all-clear” to start this whole process.  We are so excited for the first insemination in a few short weeks!

Today is CD30 … question for you guys…. Does this chart look normal to you??  I’m waiting for the start of a new cycle….and my temperatures have been elevated for 12 days (not dipped below the coverline).  We haven’t inseminated at all yet – is this normal for me to have elevated temps 12 DPO???

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No News

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Nothing to report here.  According to Fertility Friend, I ovulated on CD18 (Thursday the 29th).  I have been doing cheap OPK’s twice daily – but never have gotten a positive.  The test line was darker, but not quite as dark as the control line…have you guys ever had that happen?? I don’t know whether to believe FF or the cheapie OPK’s!!

 

We’re waiting on the results from our donor’s STD Panel Test.  Should get those, at the earliest, on Wed….could be Friday though before we know for sure if we’re good to go.  I’ll be so relieved if everything comes back clean.  We can then move forward with our plans….and have our first insemination late this month.  Then it’s just …. bring on the TWW’s!!

 

The Christmas tree is up, the wreaths and decorations too – I’m looking forward to Christmas.  This is my favourite time of year!  I’m listening to great Christmas tunes (and driving my girlfriend crazy too!).  It’s like I tell her: “You can only listen to Christmas music one month out of the year….”  She really isn’t into the music as much as I am.  Anyway, here is Sarah McLachlan’s “Wintersong”:  Enjoy!